Monday, August 20, 2007

Gay Fat, Rosie, and Me

I am fat today, more so ("Mmm, morsel") than usual.
A box of See's truffles from last week, plus a dinner party on Saturday night, plus a this-close-to-a-trough indulgence at Chili's restaurant yesterday equals tight work slacks on Monday morning.

Oh, the remorse!

Flo-at-work chides me for even expressing any feelings of fat. She was the one from whom I had first heard the term 'gay fat.' I knew what she meant right away. For gay men who are obsessive gym bunnies, and for wannabes like me, even slight water retention after high sodium snacking can feel like morbid obesity in our warped minds.

It makes me think of--funny, what stays in your mind--an interview with Rosie O'Donnell after she had finished filming "The Flintstones" as Betty Rubble. She had told the wardrobe department to make her a few Betty Rubble dresses in different sizes because her weight went up and down.

If you go to Chili's, order their "cheesecake shots" dessert, in a sampler of three different flavors. So what if your clothes feel tighter the next day? The chocolate cream layered cheesecake shot alone is worth it!

Rosie O'Donnell and I are not 'big-boned,' we're 'gay fat!'


Prince Gomolvilas said...

Stop using the word gay so much!!!!! OMG, YOU must be gay!!!!! So there!!!!!

Peter Varvel said...

Ha ha!
I AM the actual forty-something pervert who gets off on watching "kids' shows," such as HSM, Hairspray, etc.
Heterosexual men wouldn't be caught dead . . .