Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Bathroom Phobia


I used to be afraid of people hearing me whenever I used the bathroom, especially in someone else's home.
In a lot of the southern California tract homes built in the 1950's and after, many of the bathrooms do not have windows, so there is a ceiling vent and fan to help remove the shower steam and moisture. As a kid, I didn't know that that was the original purpose. I just figured that it was a handy noise maker to help override any personal noises made while using the toilet.
"Where's your noise maker?" I would ask friends whose guest bathroom had a window.
"Our what?"
"Nevermind."
And God help me if there wasn't any disinfectant spray available, or at least some matches. I could've died of embarrassment!

I'm not as afraid, nowadays, of making noise, at least, not in public restrooms. Still, I prefer complete privacy because I eat a lot of fiber on a daily basis.
When I worked at Disneyland in the eighties, there were confetti cannons on the top of Main Street USA's buildings. That was the source of the multi-colored paper rain that fell during the parades . . . Was that subtle enough?

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