(part one and part two are before this post)
One night The Boy went to visit the Older Man because he wanted to stay friends with him. Unexpectedly, the Older Man told The Boy about his new boyfriend. The new boyfriend was young, tall, and muscular.
The Boy was envious of the Older Man's new boyfriend. He was angry at himself for feeling envious. When The Boy hugged the Older Man goodbye the Older Man held The Boy for a few minutes, like he did when they were still going out the year before. The Boy felt that the Older Man still wanted to go out with him, in case things did not work out with his new boyfriend.
The Boy still wanted to go out with the Older Man, too. He would have waited an eternity for the Older Man. But he knew that if he went out with the Older Man again, it would not be long before he would have to stop the relationship because God did not like it.
The Boy felt trapped in a vicious circle. If he went out with boys he felt he should go out with girls, instead. If he went out with girls he felt he should be by himself. If he was by himself he got lonely for boys. The grass was always greener in the other yard.
The Boy truly felt he was stuck in the middle: If he went out with boys he could not stay with God; if he tried to stay with God he felt he was being untrue to his natural, unchosen feelings.
After much torment, tears, loneliness, frustration, guilt, and disappointment he decided that there was no solution to his life's problem.
So he ended his life.