Soggy Night Dreams

WARNING: The following entry may be TMI

There are fewer things that confirm a young boy's sexual identity and feelings than the dream images that accompany his first nocturnal emission, in my own experience, at least.

Sha Na Na.

The cast of Sha Na Na--that all male group that performed 1950's rock and roll hits and short sketches in a half hour family variety show in the late 70's--they were the guys in my first wet dream. Especially prominent in the dream were Johnny, the hot Latino, and Bowzer.

Bowzer? Yes, Bowzer, the one known for flexing a bicep in his trademark macho pose, mouth wide open, and the one that sang the opening bass vocals of Sha Na Na's closing theme song, "Goodnight Sweetheart."

"Do-do-doo, do-do-doo, do-do-doo, do-DOH"

Was is it just my naive 12-year-old perspective, or was there something homoerotic about this family friendly bunch of guys? First of all, there were those glittering gold blazers, often worn without shirts by Johnny and Denny (who was the one Black guy in the group). Mix those among the denim vests, the sleeveless muscle shirts, a black leather jacket or two, and you basically had a watered down version of the Village People.

There were two women in the cast, Jane Dulo, the elderly, curlers-in-hair matron who would hang out of her apartment window to deliver lines, and Pamela Myers, the perky blonde who had a giant parrot on her poodle-skirt.

In an interview, Pamela Myers mentioned an episode involving a kissing contest or a kissing booth, I can't remember exactly what. What I do remember is Miss Myers saying that Johnny had been the best kisser, shirtless-hottie Johnny, the one who had sang "Those Magic Changes" when Sha Na Na was featured in the movie "Grease."

It's been almost three whole decades since that first dream in the early stages of puberty. And here's a deep, dark, long-kept secret: Bowzer has always seemed to bear too close of a resemblance to my own father.

Ewww! That's beyond TMI, even for myself!