Monday, January 12, 2009

Abracadabra - Disappear!

I didn't want to be mean to them. But, like with my first prostitute, neither did I want to encourage them. It was obvious that the trio of ladies were Jehovah's Witnesses, dressed in nice church clothing and carrying pamphlets. I was in a hurry to make it to a dentist appointment three blocks away, and the ladies walked into our cul-de-sac just as I was leaving out the front door.

"Excuse me, sir, I know you're in a hurry" the first nicely dressed lady said to me.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I have a ten o'clock appointment to get to."

She extended one of her pamphlets to me. "If you could just take this with you . . . "

I stopped. "Would you be willing to read literature in support of homosexuality and gay marriage?" I asked her.

Domestic Partner and I don't actually have literature of any sort, for any cause. Not that she knew that.

"No" she said, looking rather sad.

"Well, I guess I won't be reading yours either, then."

I told some of my coworkers about this exchange at work, later.

"Scare 'em off with magic!" Andrea said.


"Yeah," she explained, "apparently, they think magic acts are of the devil, and if you tell them you're a magician, even the kind that entertains kids at birthday parties, they'll leave you alone."

Wow. Really? Hmmm. Maybe instead of some pro-gay literature, I can keep props for a simple magic trick or two at the ready near our front door.

Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit outta my ass!


Mike Valentino said...

Nice. I like your style.

Lori said...

Wow, that was some quick thinking. Kudos to you. Although I don't know if that magic stuff really works. Last time I told them I was Pagan they just wanted to know more about it....

Cheryl said...

That is a good strategy. Maybe you could do some kind of gay magic trick!

Luckily the Jehovah's Witnesses in my 'hood always start by asking, "Does anyone here speak Spanish?" and leave when I say no. Maybe they've given up on whitey.

mr jp said...

Maybe I should bring around some gay literature and offer them if they ask me.

If they're open, I'm open .. haha.

SleepingBeauty said...

Awesome responds. Kudos.

I love quick thinkers. Always wish I'm one of 'em.

Movin' said...

CLASSIC!!! I totally love you. That was awesome.

golfwidow said...

Eeny meeny chili beany, the queers are about to speak.

(Are they friendly queers?)

Whenever a couple of Watchtowers would knock on my door (it doesn't seem to happen in Vegas), I'd say, "I'm very interested in this. Can you wait here?" Then I'd go back inside and forget about them. I figure, if they've been waiting that long for the Rapture, I'm just sort of accommodating their creature comforts by making them wait some more.