Thursday, September 4, 2008


"You have no filter," a Young Coworker told me, today (one of the few that is left, anyway). "That's what I like about you. You just say whatever's on your mind, so I know I can do the same with you."

My Young Coworker had just expressed his discomfort over a clever but rather lurid drawing of an old woman on some one's dry erase board.

Because she had been drawn with over-inflated red lips, I did indeed say the first thing that came to mind, and I encouraged my Young Coworker to imagine what it would be like to make out with a lovely senior citizen as such.

"Ewww!" he said, which only goaded me, further.

"It's not gross," I insisted. "It can feel really good, especially when she takes out her false teeth and goes down town."

I have a "church button" I explained to him. I do find myself back in church, now and then, and since lightning does not strike when I enter, I make sure to flick that button on: "Censor Shields - UP!" Fortunately for me, most work places are not like being in church.

Having worked in entertainment and in restaurant jobs my whole life, I have been crass and inappropriate with coworkers for the majority of my varied career. In a friendly, camaraderie-like fashion, of course.

"I can't believe you just ate that old, leftover food," a coworker might say to me.

"Please," I'll protest, "I've had much worse in my mouth."

"You're not going to be able to adjust to appropriate speech patterns," Domestic Partner predicted, "when you start working full time at a regular job somewhere.
You'd better be careful," he had warned.

So far, so good. I survived the cuts at work last week. But I better not push it.

"Push it good!
P-p--push it real good
Yo-yo-yo-yo, baby, par-tee, you come here give me a kiss
Betta' make it fast or else I'm gonna give in
Can't you hear the music pumpin' hard like I wish you would?
Now push it


the Constantly Dramatic One said...

Oh can say all kinds of inappropiate things to me and I would totally be digging it =)

Prince Gomolvilas said...

You is nasty. I don't like.

Sunshine said...

My edit button gets a little rusty sometimes. I try to consider the "audience", especially if I'm around people where I don't know what their boundaries in good taste are.

Otherwise, I pretty much blurt out whatever is on my mind as well.

Quin Browne said...

this is why we will be great material for the amazing race... neither of us censors ourselves...

Lori said...

I enjoy having a mind that lives in the gutter and I'm ever so happy I've found another mind that calls the gutter home. It's nice to have someone to roll around in the filth with ;)

Peter Varvel said...

TCDO, you're so good at stroking my um, EGO!

PG, and I don't breathe.

S, it will be no-holds-barred-blurtin' when we meet, especially with a lil' alky-hall.

Q, funny you should say that - I've already envisioned what will be bleeped and edited out in OUR conversations, hee hee!

L, you are my soul-in-the-hole mate, har!