Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Thanks for the Mammaries

I think the biggest laugh I enjoyed in England this past April was from Jo's breast feeding story.

Well, it wasn't so much about breast feeding as it was about breast pumping.

Jo's dear darling boy is three, now. He is her first and only child. Before he was born, Jo was sure that she would be ready to go back to work a mere two weeks after giving birth. Her friends with babies warned her to wait until later.

She should have listened.

Jo works as a television hostess in the UK, most prominently for a travel channel.
She could at least handle a work meeting soon after the baby was born, she had thought, especially if she brought along her hand crank machine for expressing breast milk, the one with two separate attachments.

Jo told us that while sitting in the meeting, she could feel her breasts swelling gradually and growing heavier - as if they were inflating! She excused herself for a quick break and looked for the nearest public loo, expressing machine in tow.

She managed to find an empty restroom but the stalls weren't close enough to the electrical outlet. The machine's electrical cord was too short to extend into a secluded stall. She would have to risk it.

Jo mimed cranking the machine's handle while telling us the story, as well as applying the attachments to her topless self. She was not prepared, she said, for a strange man to walk in on her in such a state.

I imagine the look of shock on the man's face must have matched the level of shock Jo was feeling, once she realized that she was in the Men's Room.


Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Talk about a situation going from bad to worse. She must've felt like a total boob. The man, on the other hand, was probably titillated by the experience.

Ta ta!


Peter Varvel said...

Oh, CM! Groan, groan, groan.
. . . and thanks!

Prince Gomolvilas said...

Aw heeeeel nah!

KK said...

LOL! Oh that poor girl! That's a hilarious story and bad puns following it. :) I miss your blogs, Peter! Keep 'em coming!

Michael DeAntonio said...

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