Monday, March 17, 2008

The Waiting Game

The auditions for Pippin were over two weeks ago. I haven't heard anything, haven't received a phone call.

I'm pretty sure that I am finished waiting. Well, most of me is. A more-than-small part of me is still hoping that they'll call in the next week or two before rehearsals begin. It almost feels good to be playing the waiting game again, though, to be hopeful everyday, every hour even, for that one phone call . . . it's been a while since I've last played.

But do I really want to dance, still? Or is it more about proving to myself and others that I can still do it at my age, that I don't quite have one (perfectly pointed, well turned-out) foot in the performer's grave, yet?

If I don't get this show, my disappointment will be small enough. My world will continue to rotate. And I'll continue to be just the normal amount of tired at work, not woefully exhausted everyday for three months, wishing I had my life back and looking forward to closing night.

Besides, rehearsals and performances would take away from my writing time. I don't mind the label of Retired Dancer, or Former Performer, but I sure would like to try the title of Published Author on for size. And for that I've got a lot of work to do. And some more waiting.

Don't clear a space on your bookshelf for me just yet. It may take me a while, but here I come!


Brenda said...

Sounds like your stage is changing but the expressive character in you is still committed to having an impact on an audience. Keep it up all blossoms over time:)

Quin Browne said...

i will take you to the oscars, if you take me to the pulitzer's shindig.

golfwidow said...

I'll just wait here.

thelastnoel said...

I think the universe is telling you to write your book!

Peter Varvel said...

B, attention whores like us will always need an outlet, yes?

Q, you are my Favorite Beard.

GW, "my mom said, 'You will never amount to anything because you always procrastinate.'
I said, 'Juuust wait.'"
(Judy Tenuta)

N, I have to believe that.