Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Next Chapter, Please

Well, there went six years of my life.

I was fired from my job last week, from the film school in LA.

I am okay, grateful, even, which was a little surprising.

I am fine, mostly because I am covered, financially, even emotionally.

It was not completely unexpected. I had been spoken to, earlier in the year, about the option of leaving on my own, voluntarily. Instead, I asked for a probation period to attempt, once again, to improve my performance, to increase my numbers.

Didn't work.

I am only mildly devastated, if at all (Am I in shock? Will I feel it later, like a paper cut?). It was a good job, a great job, even, at times. But I didn't love it. I enjoyed the customer service aspect of it, but not the sales part. I didn't want to take advantage of anyone.

I didn't hate my job, but I wasn't thriving in it. Mostly, I just focused on being grateful to be employed at all in our recent economy.

But no more commuting in freeway traffic, at least for now. No more forty-five hour work weeks, and no more Saturday open house shifts once a month.

It was my first real job after years of waiting tables between far-too-few performing jobs in theme parks and on cruise ships. So, for that I will always be grateful, my first real world work experience.

For now, I will focus on cleaning the clutter out of my house. I will be the anti-hoarder (except for the Furbies, of course). I will inquire about volunteer opportunities while I search online and apply for job positions. I will practice my musical theater songs for upcoming auditions.

And I will write. Now I have no excuse not to start blogging regularly again. I will make an honest effort to complete the rough draft of my young adult novel, Scooter Boy. I may even put pen to paper and fingers to keyboard, to jot down a first draft of the drag queen revue that's been bubbling around my mind for the last few years.

I will meditate on where I want to be six years from now, and let that help me make my decisions over the next few weeks.

I will remain optimistic, even though I know I may not be able to keep feeling so every single day.

Phoenix rising, again.


Lion's Cub said...

Aw, Peter! That just sucks. I am so sorry :-(

You continue to amaze and inspire me with your resilience and optimism. You've banked a great deal of cosmic karma these past few years; I hope that you get a very high return on your investment.

Let me know if there is anything I can do--review a resume, write a recommendation, etc.

Hang in there :)

Peter Varvel said...

Thank you, LC!

I may end up taking you up on your offer ... we'll see how the next few weeks go!

karenpurplequeen said...

hmmm - that's too bad, and that's kinda OK (based on your post).

Hope to see you later next week (after Christmas) - I'll be in the area for two weeks, from the 21st to the 4th.

Merry Christmas!

Peter Varvel said...

Yep, too bad and kinda' okay.

But woo hoo! I get to see you!

Merry Christmas, indeed! :)

Cheryl said...

I am WAY behind the curve on reading this, but I'm sorry you lost your job. You can thank your former employer in the acknowledgments page of Scooter Boy, though. Happy writing and dancing!

Peter Varvel said...

Thanks, Cheryl. It ain't too bad (... yet).
I've rather missed being the struggling artist. :)