Big Boobs and Business

I finally had my chance, the opportunity I had been waiting for.

"Angelyne, may I get a picture with you?"

The Legendary Fixture of Hollywood was all business. "Sure," she replied, "if you buy one of my tee shirts."

I had already seen her a few times in the Hollywood neighborhood where I work, right near Sunset and Vine. Most of the time I will see her conspicuous, Barbie-pink Corvette parked outside of the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf.

Once, she even waved to me from the Pepto-Bismol 'vette when we passed each other on Hollywood Blvd. I assumed it was because she thought my wee little smartcar, all Tweety Bird yellow, was as cute and candy-colored as her distinctive ride.

So, I was prepared. I usually get a triple shot espresso at CBTL before rehearsal or a work out. I knew it would only be a matter of time before bumping into her again.

Angelyne led me outside to her famous car parked at a meter. She opened the trunk which contained stacks of white cotton tee shirts, all printed with her image. She charges $20 for a shirt and a photo.

I only had $19 in my wallet. "Can I borrow a dollar?" I asked Amanda. Fortunately, my coworker was with me at the time - she took the photo for me with my phone's camera. Amanda is young enough to be my daughter. She had no idea who this brightly colored, drag-queen-like woman was.

"I'll give it to you for $19," Angelyne told me, "since you were so nice and asked me politely."

Angelyne had a cameo in one of my favorite guilty pleasures from the 80's, "Earth Girls are Easy." So, I was thrilled to get both a photo and a souvenir tee shirt for such a bargain. Angelyne is a living icon from that particular and favorite decade of mine.

Why is she so iconic and famous? (at least to middle-aged and older folks). People mostly know her from her pin-up style poses on giant billboards in the same Hollywood neighborhood. I remember reading an article where Angelyne claimed to be famous for absolutely nothing.

I also remember reading that she had claimed to be Marilyn Monroe's body double in films. If that's true, that would make Angelyne - when did Marilyn die? 50 years ago? - in her 70's, at least.

She looks it, too, despite the obvious face lift . . .s. But, surprisingly, she looks a lot better up close than I had expected. I'm a bit disappointed that she chose to cover part of her face in the photo, but the woman sure knows how to pose and showcase the most of her considerable assets.

Despite her advanced age, Angelyne also knows how to stay current and fashionable. While spotting her around Tinsel Town in recent years, I have seen contemporary adaptations to her trademark Barbie doll outfits, including bright pink Uggs.

The trunk of her Barbie 'vette also contained a rubber purse that was in the shape of a chicken. I had seen the same purse on the new Asian pop channel, Mnet, featured as a recent and trendy item of fashion.

"Cluck, cluck, cluck" Angelyne chanted as she opened the purse for me to place my nineteen dollars in. "Give a buck, give a buck, give a buck."

Hmm. What else rhymes with 'cluck?'